I am surprised by my reaction. Ten years ago, I would have been enraged, angry and shocked. But today, I find myself sympathetic to this nanny, and I'm not sure why.
It is easy though to toss the blame toward her, to direct our anger toward her. But it is much harder to find sympathy, to find empathy in a situation that seems so sad.
I don't condone her behavior, nor do I find it so shocking either. Is it because I have become desensitized? I actually think quite the opposite. It is easy to be judgmental and point fingers and find blame. But if we step for a moment, really step, into her shoes, perhaps we can see after six weary hours, two babies, in a strange house, how it might happen. Is she alone? Does she have any supportive friends or other nannies to get together with? Does she know what she is doing is wrong?
I don't know. But what I do know is that I can hold my kids closer tonight. I can kiss their cheeks and rub my eyelashes against theirs and be grateful for these small moments.