I went to see Gypsy tonight at the Opera House in Spokane and I was surprised toward the end that I teared up. In a scene where Mama Rose and Loise are fighting and they mention that June has gone away. There is a small moment when Mama Rose realize that what she really misses is her own mother who abandoned her when she was a child and there it is... That longing, that feeling of loss, that mother-daughter connection zapped. It is in those moments that my own tears can fall so quickly.
It is an emotional response to a feeling deep within me. It didn't help also that when I left tonight, I left with Sophia sobbing for me not to go out. She can pull at me, tear at me, and I have to keep my emotional self in check at those moments. It is a difficult place to be and a tricky point to maneuver between distinguishing emotional manipulation and emotional maturity. I know that Sophia misses me sometimes when I leave but I also know that she is going to be okay, better than okay, in Terry's care. So I struggle with that sometimes.
But we all struggle and in those moments, I am reminded of the power of love, of the pull of love, of the genuine breadth of it all. Love does not boast. It is not proud. It is not self-seeking. Love is. And I am. And Grace is love.